Gifts for people with allergies or dietary needs
Peanuts, tree nuts, milk, eggs, wheat, soy, fish, shellfish and sesame are among the most common food allergens. If you buy for enough people, someone on your list reacts to at least one of them.
A wrong gift can make that person sick, so check before you buy. It takes one message.
How do I ask without making it awkward?
Ask once, plainly, and ask everyone, so nobody is singled out: "Before I buy anything, is there anything you can't have? Foods, scents, materials, anything at all."
Most people are glad to be asked. In Wishmark that question is built into the ask link as "can't have". The answer stays on the person's page, so next December you do not have to ask again or dig for a text from three years ago.
Does it matter if it is an allergy or a choice?
Yes. For someone with celiac disease, a trace of wheat can make them ill. Someone else who avoids gluten may be fine with a crumb. Vegetarian can mean different things too: some vegetarians avoid gelatin, for example, and some do not. You cannot tell from the outside, so ask how strict it is.
Allergies that are not about food
These are the ones people forget:
- Scented things: candles, soap, lotion, perfume
- Nickel in cheap jewelry and watch backs
- Wool and some synthetic fabrics against the skin
- Latex, found in balloons, rubber bands and some gloves
- Feather and down pillows or throws
What about children with allergies?
Ask the parents, not the child, and ask before you buy anything that goes in the mouth or on the skin. Craft items can hide allergens: some modeling doughs contain wheat, and some lip balms and lotions contain nut oils. Party favors and stocking stuffers are where candy sneaks in.
If you cannot get an answer in time, choose something with no food, scent or fabric in it. A book is almost never the wrong choice.
Is it ever safe to give food?
If the allergy is serious, skip food unless the person tells you exactly which brand is safe. Homemade is the riskiest, because a shared spoon or cutting board can carry traces.
If you do buy packaged food, read the ingredient list and any "may contain" line yourself, every time. Makers change recipes. Hand over the packaging so the person can check it too.
What can I give instead?
Plenty of good gifts have nothing to do with the problem:
- A class, a day trip or tickets
- Books, puzzles and games
- Gear for their hobby
- A houseplant, once you have checked it is safe around their pets and small children
- A gift card for a restaurant they already eat at without worry
Cooking for someone with an allergy
Ask what is safe and how careful you need to be. Ask whether shared pans and spoons matter. Many people with allergies bring their own dish to dinners. Say yes to that, and still make something they can eat, so they are not left watching.
Where do I keep all this?
A note on your phone works if you buy for three people. With thirty it falls apart. The useful place is next to each person's name, where you will see it in the store aisle. That is what the can't-have answer does on each person's page.